Heroes Of The Storm Shows Why Male Trolls Need A Remodel
As many of you know, this month Blizzard finally added the first ever troll to Heroes Of The Storm, Zul’jin. During the all heroes free session I had a chance to play the new hero and absolutely loved him. His gutsy, high-risk, high-reward play-style is exactly what you would expect from an enraged, primal war chief. His flurry of axes coupled with his Regeneration spell makes Zul’jin a shining example of classic troll flavor. However, all of that raw troll glory came with a price, it highlights how badly WoW’s trolls need an update.
The Troll Tribes Of World Of Warcraft
Before, you think to yourself “this dude is an idiot, he’s an Amani”, I know. I realize there are different tribes, but at least a couple display both physiologies. Zul’Gurub and Zul’Aman both contain trolls of both varieties. The Gurubashi and Amani are forest and jungle trolls, just like the Revantusk, Darkspear and Shatterspear that make up the Horde. There might be some small bit of lore buried away that can explain why the Horde’s male trolls are so lanky, but our recently deceased war chief seems to further my point.
Vol’jin A Tale Of Two Bodies
Vol’jin might look a lot like his faction mates in WoW, but take a look at his Hearthstone card. In Hearthstone he isn’t quite as beefy as Zul’jin, but doesn’t fit the typical Horde troll build either. His powerful shoulders and bulging arms are proportionate and look like they could easily go toe-to-toe with an Orc or a Tauren. Meanwhile, his WoW model doesn’t look strong or agile, it just looks awkward, frail and is hardly like the current female counterpart.
While all of the races on Azeroth are sexually dimorphic, the Troll’s dimorphism is by far the most stark. While Draenai have vastly different musculature, they do appear to have the same basic bone structure (plus, they are aliens, so whatever). On the other end of the spectrum are the elven/human-looking races who, like real-life humans, vary only slightly in overall structure. That in mind, elves are trolls mutated by the grace of Elune! So, what the hell is going with trolls?
In the beginning, male and female trolls looked a lot alike, but with the updates to the females they have become quite different (a point in itself). They share lanky appendages and awkward sets of digits, but look at their eyes, noses, chins, and ear alignment; all very different. On top of that, the female stands like our boy Zul’jin, while the male looks permanently ready for a stop by the latrine. If Azeroth used our taxonomy system, the male and female might not even be in the same species!
Bring On The Update
All three of the most recent iterations of trolls: the female rework, Vol’jins Hearthstone card, and Zul’jin in Heroes Of The Storm show a departure from the NBA superstar body of the past. Truthfully, I have never been too keen on trolls, because they just don’t look as badass as Azeroth’s other inhabitants. That said, if their physique was updated to match Zul’jin’s, you bet I would be race changing at least one of my favorite toons.
I realize changing these models would be a huge undertaking for Blizzard, but new all of the new female character models show that it is possible. So, Blizzard, just do it, ‘mon!